Imagine if you could simply check off boxes when placing an order for a man, and he would be delivered to your doorstep by the weekend, all fresh and new, complete with a bow and an operating manual. Unfortunately, dating is not that easy. There is a lot of trial, error and disappointment with finding “the one.” The good news is it’s not impossible to find the right guy if you know yourself and can identify the qualities you seek in a partner.
I constantly come across women who spend more time planning a shopping trip than on who they will spend the rest of their lives with. So, if you have to throw yourself back into the dating pool, wouldn’t it be best if you made sure you were in great dating shape? That does not mean starving yourself to fit into a dress two sizes smaller. It means examining your life, developing dating clarity, setting dating goals, breaking old habits and developing healthy new ones.
Challenge yourself to be confident and feel fulfilled before you make room for a man in your life. If not, you will constantly attract the wrong person. You certainly don’t want someone who is needy, full of problems, indecisive and displays a negative attitude in your life. You need to love yourself first in order to have a healthy relationship.
Men are attracted to self-confident women. They find them intriguing and irresistible. If a man sees you as confident and happy, he will view you as interesting to other men. Keep in mind that men are competitive in nature and will do more to court what they view as a challenge.
Confidence can be as simple as knowing what you want out of a relationship. It begins with determining what lifestyle, interests, hobbies, beliefs, morals, activity level and demeanor you want in your partner. Decide which qualities are essential and which ones you can be flexible with. It comes from living your own life fully and creating an understanding of what is important to you.
Men do want self-assured women in their lives. They like it when you make some of the decisions and share opinions. Men love it when your body language and dress exude confidence. Trust me, if your sureness scares a man away, he was not the one for you.
My best advice is to fill your spare time. Consider taking a night class, get involved with volunteer work or simply schedule “me” time. This will help build your self-esteem, so when you meet a great guy he will see you as a lively and secure person. Keep in mind that a man’s worst fear is meeting a woman with way too much time on her hands. If he knows you are free all the time, he will call you for last minute plans because he knows you will say “yes,” thus making you a last resort. Trust me, he will want more of your time when he knows you don’t have any. He will realize if he wants to see you again, he better schedule the next date with you now.
Let your confidence shine.
BetterDateMaker means better dates, better dates mean better partner, better partner means better life. Scott Stowell and his wife, Pam Stowell, are certified matchmakers and the founders of CNY’s most talked about matchmaking service, Lunch Appeal, located on 290 Elwood Davis Road, Liverpool.